Sexual Jekyll and Hyde

So many aspects of human sexuality are intriguing to me but the thing that I find most fascinating is how we reconcile our sexual selves with our public persona. Some people wear their sexuality on their sleeves while you wonder if others have even had a sexual thought in their entire lives. The vast majority of people (myself included) have a Jekyll and Hyde approach to reconciling their public and private lives. What I mean is that who we are when out in the world is usually the exact opposite of who we are sexually.

In my "real" life I am an opinionated, loud and dominating personality who craves control, especially when it comes to my work. I hate when I can't dictate the way something should work or a direction in which a project should go. But behind my bedroom door, I am the exact opposite. I crave submission. No feeling is more erotic to me than having my wrists tied together above my head. Having a man tell me exactly what to do and when to do it gets me turned on like nothing else. In the real world, calling me a bitch or another anti-feminist epithet will get your ass kicked but in bed I love being called bitch, slut or whore.

I think the reason most people create this dichotomy is that sex is meant to be the ultimate escape from the world outside of our bedrooms. The real world is a tough, stressful place full of unpleasant things and unpleasant people. Our fantasies keep us sane and living them out gives us the recharge we need to keep plugging away at building the rest of our lives. I know that I am a happier, more relaxed person for days after a truly satisfying sexual experience and the difference shows in my work and how I deal with others.

I also think that people are drawn to their opposites in both their public and private lives. My husband is a shy, quiet guy who despises your typical alpha male but when we are alone will call me names, pull my hair and generally be a dictator in the bedroom. Satisfying our sexual selves and the sexual selves of our partners satisfies us as a whole person.

Don't get me wrong... I am all for putting sex out in the open but I do think having a sexual split personality keeps the mystery in life. Is this person this serious all the time or does their freak come out at night? Is this crazy person really tame behind closed doors? I guess you'll have to wait and see...

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree and why? Reach out and touch me...